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Top 10 Relationship Red Flags You Should Not Ignore

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A successful relationship is always considered as one where we are loved, cared for, valued, and respected. Sometimes in anger, there can be loss of control, but if it is over a prolonged period, then you are definitely in a toxic relationship, or in other words, you are in a red flag dating relationship.

What is a red flag?

The red-flag meaning in a relationship is that you should stop wasting your time and get out of this relationship.

Are you in a relationship where you feel it’s harmful to your mental health or are you a person who is not able to understand a red flag? Then you should know how to help yourself by knowing the signs of a toxic relationship or red flags in a relationship.

10 signs of red flags in a relationship:

1. Not trusting your gut

Yes, when you are not loved by the person, you get a gut feeling, your stomach starts aching, and you know it’s not good for you. The person has changed. But because you love that person so much and can’t think of loving that person you stay hoping that someday this will change and things will go back to how they were earlier.
This is a wrong perception, and living in a delusion of hope is the biggest red flag of a relationship. By any means, once the glass is broken, it will not get its old shape back. “If you have to think twice about whether or not your man is treating you right, you’re already thinking too hard.” this is one of my favorite quotes by Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman and Meagan McCrary book on relationship red flags.

2. Inconsistency

Today he/she gave you everything you wanted and behaved as you liked, but then the next day they are back to what they were. They will make you feel mixed feelings, but nothing will affect them as they are long gone from you. They will say “I’ll do it,” “I’ll change,” and promise you the same, but won’t do anything.

3. Ghosting

What is the basis of a relationship? Communication If you don’t have communication in any type of relationship, it’s no longer going to be a good relationship. The next step of inconsistency leads to ghosting. When a person suddenly disappears from an ongoing conversation and suddenly comes back after four, five, or even more than that, it’s not at all healthy and can be considered the biggest red flag.

4. Frequent lying

Lying is one of the important signs that you should stay away from someone. If the person speaks lies to surprise you, don’t worry, it won’t be considered. But if there is a series of lies, then you will realize it and take a step back from the relationship.

5. Unwillingness to compromise

Relationships are all about acceptance and compromise. If you want something, you should let go of it. To further simplify, you love that person because he makes a lot of money, is hardworking, and is also a fitness freak. But he smokes sometimes when he is stressed out. Then you should help the person figure out something else to release the stress. And the person should understand and willingly accept it. This is called a compromise. The most important thing in a relationship.
But if this is lacking, then bro! You deserve better.

6. Constant ups and downs

Even if it’s in a subtle or passive-aggressive fashion, a partner who frequently criticizes or puts you down might undermine your self-esteem. Quintero states, “This is a sort of emotional abuse that can lead to emotions of fear and uncertainty in the relationship.”
Some common examples, according to her, are:
You’re extremely fortunate. I’m still here because you’ll never be able to outperform me.
When you attempt to be amusing, you sound so foolish.
Red flags raised by a woman are mostly like this in a relationship, so the guy should understand and act accordingly.

7. Tendency to run away from the difficult decision

As said by elderly people, a relationship is always about communication. If a person is running away from serious discussions generally about the future, then you should probably consider it a bad sign. Experts call this sign a “silent red flag” in a relationship.
If you are looking for a red flag in a guy, then you should probably consider it one of the red flags and talk openly about what to do further as soon as possible, or you will just waste your time.

8. Controlling behavior

“Control attempts normally begin gently but escalate in severity, leaving you feeling as though nothing you do is ‘good enough,'” adds Simonian. “If you feel suffocated or find yourself changing your conduct to assuage their envy, it could be a warning of more serious problems to come.” This is also considered as a sign you should stay away from someone.

9. Excessive jealousy

When the text changes from “hey babes, when will you be home?” to “Will you even consider being home?”, though the person knows you are busy. Or even worse than that. In some cases, the female partner has faced spying by her boyfriend’s buddies to keep an eye on her. Or having a huge fight when the male partner hangs out with his female best friend who has known him for years. This is one of the common red flags in a relationship.
It is also said that as jealousy increases, the quality of a relationship decreases

10. They want your phone number, email address, and passwords for your social media accounts

To begin with, why would they want to date someone they don’t have faith in? What does that mean for any untrustworthy behaviors or temptations that may be transferred to you? It’s practically a basic right to be able to check your Facebook messages without someone mouth-breathing behind your back! Your rights to privacy and autonomy are unalienable. This is also a silent red flag in a relationship.

If you are feeling everything mentioned above, no matter if you are married or not, there are a few phone numbers you should know, or if they don’t belong to these localities, you can just google them, but you must know that help for such matters is available. You are not alone. People are ready to help you.
To access a 24-hour crisis center, dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text MHA to 741741, dial 911, or go to the local emergency room.
If you or someone you care about is experiencing a mental health crisis, you can call 0207 771 5807. (Available 24hr).
Women’s Helpline (All India): Women in Distress (1001)
Women’s Helpline Domestic Abuse-181

About the author

Charlotte
Charlotte

Charlotte is a health, beauty and wellness blogger and a mother of two, who lives between India and London

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Love & Relationship

9 Ways To Get Rid Of Hickey Fast: Hacks That Will Actually Work

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remove hickey

A hickey is a mark on your skin that is dark red or purple and is the result of strong suction. It should go away in approximately two weeks, much as other bruises. Because of its ease of access, the neck is a typical location for hickeys, but they can occur elsewhere.

Little blood vessels beneath the skin are ruptured as your spouse bites and suck on you. Petechiae are little blood spots that are released when blood vessels break.

These blood spots aggregate to create a more significant black mark that resembles a bruise. Over time, the bruise’s color could shift from red or dark purple to yellow.

Your neck is clear after sharing a private moment with your partner for one minute. The following time, there is a large, rounded, purple mark on it. Hickeys or love bite marks are caused by broken small blood vessels under the skin, which leave a visible bruise.

How long does it take for hickey removal?

From two days to two weeks can pass while a hickey. In order to disguise one, you can spend a lot of time wearing turtlenecks or touching up the area with concealer. There are, however, a few methods for accelerating the healing process. These ten methods may speed up the healing process by a few days, but nothing will make a hiccup go in a matter of minutes.

How to remove hickey?

Here are a few hacks that can help you to hide your love bite marks on your neck:

1. An ice compress

cold compress to remove hickey

The swelling of a fresh bruise might be reduced with the use of a cold compress. The blood’s flow from the vessel into the skin is slowed down by the cooler temperature. Additionally, you may make use of an ice pack, a cold-water-dampened rag, or even a cooled spoon. Whatever method you choose, for the first two days, repeatedly apply the compress for 10 minutes to the hickey.

2. A hot compress

It’s time to apply heat after using a cold compress for two days. You can improve circulation in the injured area by using a warm compress. This can hasten the hickey’s eventual fading. Apply a warm compress for 10 minutes many times a day beginning on day three.

3. Massaging the area

massag

Massages have a reputation for reducing pain and promoting blood flow. For a few minutes each day, gently rub or massage your hickey to hasten the process of healing. It’s important to use a delicate touch because exerting too much pressure could exacerbate the bruise.

4. Massage with peppermint essential oil

The use of peppermint essential oil can aid in promoting localized blood flow. This might lessen the extent and size of your hickey.
Use pure essential oil rather than the extract that is typically used in cooking. Use diluted essential oils at all times. Every 1 to 2 drops of essential oil should be accompanied by roughly 12 drops of carrier oil, such as coconut or olive oil.

5. Use vitamin C topical

Your skin needs vitamin C to be supple and healthy. It may increase the collagen production in your skin and has excellent antioxidant effects. Vitamin C may even strengthen the skin tissue surrounding your blood vessels, which might aid in the recovery of your hickey.
Every day, massage the afflicted region with a lotion that contains vitamin C. It might also be advantageous to consume more citrus and plant-based foods.

6. Coconut oil on

With good reason, many skin care regimens include cocoa butter, a fat made from cocoa beans. Scars, stretch marks, wrinkles, and other skin blemishes have all been demonstrated to be reduced by cocoa butter. Its abundance in fatty acids and phytochemicals, which are thought to nourish skin, increase suppleness, and reduce the ageing process, is the reason behind this.

7. Use aloe vera

The anti-inflammatory qualities of the aloe vera plant can help lessen skin pain and swelling. Apply a thin layer of aloe vera gel or lotion to the bruise at least twice daily to treat a hickey.

Love Bites need time to heal naturally, just like bruises and other minor wounds. Usually, this procedure takes a week or two. There are a few things you may do to speed up the healing process of your hickey in the interim. Consider hiding your hickey with clothing or makeup if you’re worried about how it will seem while it heals. Keep in mind that when the hickey heals, its colour will progressively decrease as well.

About the author

Charlotte
Charlotte

Charlotte is a health, beauty and wellness blogger and a mother of two, who lives between India and London

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Love & Relationship

7 things you definitely didn’t know about love bites

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how to give love bites

Giving your lover a hickey in the middle of a hot make-out session can feel great and also designate them as “yours” in a humorous way. But how exactly do you give someone a hickey, and what is the best method? We’ll go over everything you need to know about hickeys, including how to recognize them, how to treat them, and how to become a hickey expert.

What are love bites?

A love bite, also known as a hickey, is a brief red mark formed by someone sucking on or biting the skin while kissing or engaging in other sexual activity.

What causes hickey?

The pressure from your spouse sucking on and biting your skin bursts small blood vessels beneath the surface. Petechiae are microscopic blood spots that form when blood vessels break. A bruise is formed when a group of these blood spots joins together to produce a larger dark patch.

What does the hickey look like?

A hickey is a dark red or purple mark on your skin that occurs as a result of excessive suction. It should fade in approximately 2 weeks, just like other bruises. Because of its ease of access, the neck is a typical place for hickeys, but they can occur everywhere.

How to give love bites?

  • Tension should be built up. Don’t just go in for the hickey by diving right into your partner’s neck. Spend some time kissing and French kissing your spouse before moving your lips to their throat. Begin with soft kisses around the throat and collarbone, then progress to stronger and more forceful kisses. You can certainly continue to provide a hickey if your spouse seems to love it, but you should always check in with them first.
  • If you’ve avoided asking for permission because “hickey” isn’t the sexiest word to whisper into someone’s ear, you should now express that you’d like to leave a mark on your partner’s skin and see how they react.
  • Hickeys can be used on every skin type and any part of the body. They are most commonly observed around the neck. The skin in the crook of your elbow or on the inside of your thigh, on the other hand, is also enjoyable.
  • If you know your partner will be humiliated by a noticeable hickey, don’t put it in the center of the throat where everyone can see it; instead, ask them where they feel most at ease.
  • In case, your partner has long hair, go to the side or rear of the neck, or go to the collarbones, closer to the shoulder, so the skin is covered by a typical crew-neck T-shirt.
  • Place your lips on the skin with a tiny parting between them. Imagine making the letter “O” with your lips, then pressing them firmly against your partner’s skin to form a good seal without allowing air to escape. Instead of going into a harsh pucker, try to keep your mouth soft and inviting as you do so.
  • Grasp the skin. The trick is to suck hard enough to break the capillaries just beneath the skin while not causing too much discomfort to your companion. To leave a mark, you’ll need to suck for 20 to 30 seconds. Keep your teeth out of the way at all times. You don’t want them to pierce your partner’s skin unpleasantly. If your partner prefers, teeth can be used lightly to enhance the pleasure of the experience.
  • It’s time to put an end to the sucking. If 30 seconds of hickey-making is too much for you, try 10 seconds of kissing, followed by another 10 seconds in the same location, and so on.
  • Wait for the visible hickey to appear after a few minutes. You won’t be able to notice the hickey right away, just as when you acquire a bruise. After 5 or 10 minutes, it should appear, ranging in color from light pink to dark purple.

7 facts about hickey

  1. There is no quick fix for hickeys.
    Apart from placing some ice on it, there isn’t much you can do to help it go away quickly. Your only option is to hide under scarves and collars.
  2. Love bites are common in those who are iron deficient.
    If your skin goes black and blue after doing something, you may be deficient in iron. This condition can be combated by including leafy green vegetables and seafood in your diet.
  3. They have the potential to trigger a stroke.
    Yes, that is possible. This isn’t a joke. After her partner sucked her neck forcefully, a woman in New Zealand suffered a stroke. It not only resulted in a stroke, but it also left her with a paralyzed arm!
  4. Oral herpes can also be caused by them.
    If you have sexual contact with someone who has oral herpes and they give you a hickey in the heat of the moment, your chances of catching oral herpes are pretty high.
  5. They have the potential to cause significant sex injuries.
    If you don’t take it easy on the nibbling, hickeys can result in serious sex injuries. It may appear that you’ve been subjected to forcible sex in which your body has been battered.
  6. The Kamasutra makes a special note of them.
    Love bites are referred to in the Kama Sutra as the ‘coral and the jewel,’ with the lip representing the coral and the teeth representing the jewel.
  7. Having hickeys in your dreams could indicate that you’re dealing with a poisonous relationship.
    According to psychological studies, dreaming about hickeys indicates a psychological problem, such as being tormented by a toxic relationship. It could also represent a conflict between your mind and your heart.

Are hickeys dangerous?

A variety of falsehoods and misleading cautions have been spread to discourage individuals from giving hickeys. Usually, this stems from embarrassment or a wish to stop doing something like that. Some individuals find hickeys amusing, while others find them offensive, rude, and even unpleasant.

Even though hickeys are completely harmless, myths of health problems caused by these love bites may be based on legitimate worries. Bruising and black blotches on your body, also known as erythema nodosum, can be a sign of a variety of illnesses, including:

  • tuberculosis
  • bacterial infection
  • fungal infection
  • sarcoidosis
  • inflammatory bowel disease
  • thrombocytopenia
  • cancer

Even though these illnesses have symptoms similar to hickeys, hickeys only appear after a specific action. They’d have to emerge on their own, idiopathically, and with other signs and symptoms.

How to hide love bites?

A hickey can’t be gotten rid of quickly. There are certain things you may do to lessen irritation, redness, and discoloration, but most hickeys take a week or two to dissipate.

Some ways of accelerating healing include:

  • For the first several days, use a cold compress.
  • Following the third day, apply a warm compress
  • Massage
  • Vitamins and topical ointments

Hickeys can be unsightly and even unsettling, but they are often harmless. They won’t give you cancer or any other terrible illness. Hickeys have been linked to blood clotting issues in the past, although these instances are extremely rare.

If you get a hickey and it makes you uncomfortable, talk to your spouse about how to avoid it happening again.

About the author

Charlotte
Charlotte

Charlotte is a health, beauty and wellness blogger and a mother of two, who lives between India and London

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Love & Relationship

Physical Relationship: Is It Really Important For A Relationship To Work?

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To begin, I’d want to state that sex does not have to be a component of every relationship. Waiting a set amount of time or until a certain life milestone (such as getting married) before having sex may be essential to you. “There are people who are asexual who are in relationships where sex in a relationship is mutually unimportant or undesired, and those relationships are just as valid, caring, and intimate as any others,” says Liz Powell, PsyD, an LGBTQ-friendly sex educator, coach, and professional psychologist.

What is a physical relationship?

However, for those who choose to include sex in their relationships, it is critical. Because you and your partner must “navigate, communicate, and compromise” when it comes to sex—both having it and talking about it, according to Shadeen Francis, sex, marriage, and family therapist. Are you aware of each other’s needs and desires? Do you have enough faith in your partner to be vulnerable with them? And to treat your body with deference?

Importance of physical relationship

Why sex is important in a relationship? The emotional benefits of touch include a strong sense of being accepted and cared for. Touch has physiological benefits as well. In one study, partners had lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, on days when they had more physical contact, such as hand-holding or embracing. (High cortisol levels have been linked to elevated heart rate and blood pressure.) The researchers believe that the good emotions evoked by physical touch contentment, relaxation, and alertness are directly linked to decreased cortisol levels.

Another study discovered that when persons engaged in more physically intimate behaviors over days, their symptoms of physical difficulties (back/muscle soreness, headache, insomnia, upset stomach, rash/skin irritation, and sickness/injury) decreased.

In a third study, regular and recurrent physical touch was connected to higher levels of oxytocin (a calming, happiness-promoting hormone), lower cortisol levels in both spouses, and lower blood pressure in husbands.

6 Reasons why the physical relationship is important

1. It offers you a rush of emotions

Does sex strengthen a relationship? Maybe it does! One of the main reasons individuals perform super-intense workouts is for the pleasant afterglow. And it turns out that the release of feel-good hormones gives you a comparable high after sex.

The following is how it works: Sex causes the brain to release dopamine, which boosts your motivation and happiness; testosterone, which boosts your work performance; and endorphins, which alleviate stress and discomfort. According to psychologist and relationship specialist Danielle Forshee, PsyD, “all of these hormones together play a complex role in human pair-bonding and are vital in preserving the glue of a relationship.”

2. Sex can help you relax and unwind

You’ve undoubtedly tried the tried-and-true de-stressing techniques like deep breathing, massages, hot baths, and even hotter yoga by now. But why not throw in some sex? According to Francis, “sex releases oxytocin into the bloodstream, which promotes relaxation and stress alleviation.” “Moreover, oxytocin fights cortisol, the key stress hormone,” Schewitz adds.

Experts have shown that sex has a similar power to alleviate tension by triggering the brain’s reward system to that of consuming enjoyable “comfort food.” An orgasm isn’t required to reap the advantages: After only 20 seconds of skin-to-skin contact, your body releases oxytocin, thus any kind of physical contact is advantageous.

3. It can help you feel more confident

While sex may not immediately raise your BDE levels to Rihanna levels, “it may be an enormously confidence-boosting, body-loving event for some people,” Francis explains. “Most of us are insecure in some way, whether it’s about our physical appearance or not. Being validated by someone we love and trust, on the other hand, can help us gain confidence.”

According to Courtney Cleman, CFA, co-founder of The V. Club, a wellness and education institution in New York City, that dopamine rush also helps increase your mojo. “The more dopamine we have, the better we feel and the better we feel about ourselves,” she explains.

4. You’ll both enjoy a better night’s sleep as a result of this

Sex helps sleep by releasing a hormone called prolactin after you orgasm, in addition to raising oxytocin and decreasing cortisol. This hormone can help you sleep longer and spend more time in the REM stage of the sleep cycle, which is when your brain and body are re-energized and your dreams happen.

A good night’s sleep is essential to living a healthy lifestyle, not least because it improves your mental health. Increased mental well-being also means decreased irritation, resulting in fewer confrontations with your partner.

5. The intimacy isn’t limited to the bedroom

“[Sex] produces a feedback cycle of intimacy,” adds Coleman. “You’ll have more closeness outside the bedroom if you have more intimacy in the bedroom, and vice versa.” This is supported by research. Sex predicts affection, and affection predicts sexual activity, according to a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

“People who have physical touch as one of their core love languages would benefit from this loop,” Francis says, alluding to the concept established by Gary Chapman in his best-selling book. “If intimate contact is how we express and receive love from our partners,” she explains, “then sex is a gateway for how we communicate affection and love.”

6. The finest post-sex cuddling (but really)

For some people, being all snuggly-wiggly with your sweetie is not only one of the best parts of the relationship (it’s like a blanket burrito, but better), but it may also strengthen your bond. Kissing and cuddling after sex lead to a more satisfying and healthier relationship, according to a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. (Oxytocin FTW once more.) But, of course, the sex has to come first to reap the post-sex perks.

couple cuddling

Health benefits of physical relationship

  • Maintains the health of your immune system.
  • Increases your libido.
  • Improves bladder control in women.
  • Reduces blood pressure.
  • Counts as a form of exercise.
  • Reduces the risk of a heart attack.
  • Pain is reduced.
  • May reduce the risk of prostate cancer.
  • Improves sleep quality.
  • Stress is relieved.

Sexual intimacy in a romantic physical relationship

It is critical to share a wide range of feelings with a partner; otherwise, regardless matter how positive one’s sexual experiences may be, some people may feel lonely and alone.

‘Making love’ for many couples entails a sense of intimacy and emotional closeness. An intimate sexual relationship necessitates mutual trust and vulnerability. Other forms of intimacy, such as emotional and spiritual closeness, are linked to sexual intimacy. Intercourse is just one aspect of sexual intimacy, which also includes foreplay and other types of physical closeness.

Consider ways to express love and affection without using sex, and keep in mind that sex encompasses a wide range of physical touch. The more intimate a couple is with each other in ways other than sex, the more gratifying it is.

Is sexual compatibility important in a sexual relationship?

The problem is that there is no correct answer. It is for some people, and it isn’t for others. In long-term partnerships, the value of sexual compatibility in your relationship may shift with time, especially as you build more companionship with each other. Your sexuality, as well as your needs and desires, might change throughout time. A relationship has many other aspects outside sex, such as trust, communication, enjoyment, playfulness, collaboration, friendship, and so on. Sexual compatibility might fluctuate, but it’s more consistent when you’re also taking care of the other aspects of your relationship.

Is it wrong to have physical relationships before marriage?

Sex before marriage or sex without a relationship also called friends with benefits, should ideally be a decision made by two individuals who are clear about their goals in life. Even if your relationship does not lead to marriage, it is still crucial to understand why you desire physical closeness. If you do have sex, do it for the proper reasons: out of your own free will, not because your partner is pressuring you. It’s also a way to show your mutual admiration and respect for one another. However, please take responsibility for protecting your own body to avoid undesired pregnancies or sexually transmitted diseases.

Some people, however, do require sex to maintain a good and happy relationship.

What matters is that you find a partner who is aware of your needs and desires, regardless of their nature. Every love and sexual relationship requires open communication.

About the author

Andrea
Andrea

Andrea loves to write about the relationship. She has been writing for more than a decade now. Solo traveller and love to surf

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