A successful relationship is always considered as one where we are loved, cared for, valued, and respected. Sometimes in anger, there can be loss of control, but if it is over a prolonged period, then you are definitely in a toxic relationship, or in other words, you are in a red flag dating relationship.
What is a red flag?
The red-flag meaning in a relationship is that you should stop wasting your time and get out of this relationship.
Are you in a relationship where you feel it’s harmful to your mental health or are you a person who is not able to understand a red flag? Then you should know how to help yourself by knowing the signs of a toxic relationship or red flags in a relationship.
10 signs of red flags in a relationship:
1. Not trusting your gut
Yes, when you are not loved by the person, you get a gut feeling, your stomach starts aching, and you know it’s not good for you. The person has changed. But because you love that person so much and can’t think of loving that person you stay hoping that someday this will change and things will go back to how they were earlier.
This is a wrong perception, and living in a delusion of hope is the biggest red flag of a relationship. By any means, once the glass is broken, it will not get its old shape back. “If you have to think twice about whether or not your man is treating you right, you’re already thinking too hard.” this is one of my favorite quotes by Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman and Meagan McCrary book on relationship red flags.
2. Inconsistency
Today he/she gave you everything you wanted and behaved as you liked, but then the next day they are back to what they were. They will make you feel mixed feelings, but nothing will affect them as they are long gone from you. They will say “I’ll do it,” “I’ll change,” and promise you the same, but won’t do anything.
3. Ghosting
What is the basis of a relationship? Communication If you don’t have communication in any type of relationship, it’s no longer going to be a good relationship. The next step of inconsistency leads to ghosting. When a person suddenly disappears from an ongoing conversation and suddenly comes back after four, five, or even more than that, it’s not at all healthy and can be considered the biggest red flag.
4. Frequent lying
Lying is one of the important signs that you should stay away from someone. If the person speaks lies to surprise you, don’t worry, it won’t be considered. But if there is a series of lies, then you will realize it and take a step back from the relationship.
5. Unwillingness to compromise
Relationships are all about acceptance and compromise. If you want something, you should let go of it. To further simplify, you love that person because he makes a lot of money, is hardworking, and is also a fitness freak. But he smokes sometimes when he is stressed out. Then you should help the person figure out something else to release the stress. And the person should understand and willingly accept it. This is called a compromise. The most important thing in a relationship.
But if this is lacking, then bro! You deserve better.
6. Constant ups and downs
Even if it’s in a subtle or passive-aggressive fashion, a partner who frequently criticizes or puts you down might undermine your self-esteem. Quintero states, “This is a sort of emotional abuse that can lead to emotions of fear and uncertainty in the relationship.”
Some common examples, according to her, are:
You’re extremely fortunate. I’m still here because you’ll never be able to outperform me.
When you attempt to be amusing, you sound so foolish.
Red flags raised by a woman are mostly like this in a relationship, so the guy should understand and act accordingly.
7. Tendency to run away from the difficult decision
As said by elderly people, a relationship is always about communication. If a person is running away from serious discussions generally about the future, then you should probably consider it a bad sign. Experts call this sign a “silent red flag” in a relationship.
If you are looking for a red flag in a guy, then you should probably consider it one of the red flags and talk openly about what to do further as soon as possible, or you will just waste your time.
8. Controlling behavior
“Control attempts normally begin gently but escalate in severity, leaving you feeling as though nothing you do is ‘good enough,'” adds Simonian. “If you feel suffocated or find yourself changing your conduct to assuage their envy, it could be a warning of more serious problems to come.” This is also considered as a sign you should stay away from someone.
9. Excessive jealousy
When the text changes from “hey babes, when will you be home?” to “Will you even consider being home?”, though the person knows you are busy. Or even worse than that. In some cases, the female partner has faced spying by her boyfriend’s buddies to keep an eye on her. Or having a huge fight when the male partner hangs out with his female best friend who has known him for years. This is one of the common red flags in a relationship.
It is also said that as jealousy increases, the quality of a relationship decreases
10. They want your phone number, email address, and passwords for your social media accounts
To begin with, why would they want to date someone they don’t have faith in? What does that mean for any untrustworthy behaviors or temptations that may be transferred to you? It’s practically a basic right to be able to check your Facebook messages without someone mouth-breathing behind your back! Your rights to privacy and autonomy are unalienable. This is also a silent red flag in a relationship.
If you are feeling everything mentioned above, no matter if you are married or not, there are a few phone numbers you should know, or if they don’t belong to these localities, you can just google them, but you must know that help for such matters is available. You are not alone. People are ready to help you.
To access a 24-hour crisis center, dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text MHA to 741741, dial 911, or go to the local emergency room.
If you or someone you care about is experiencing a mental health crisis, you can call 0207 771 5807. (Available 24hr).
Women’s Helpline (All India): Women in Distress (1001)
Women’s Helpline Domestic Abuse-181
